The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained to liberation from the self.- Albert Einstein, The World As I See It (1949)
I thought it might be interesting to provide some context into my "self" as explained by a personality test (more aptly put, its actually a personal preference test) taken with a psychologist about 5 years ago. (Here's what you get yourself into when people think you can be a leader just because you talk & laugh too much and gifted you a sponsored leadership training camp)
I somewhat want to provide an understanding of the context of my "idealism" (again,common societal view).
According to the MBTI, I tested 5 years ago as an ENFP.
I think that too many description on the internet are far too vague, they say ENFP are driven by our "inner values." But really, what inner values are those?
I quote other ENFPs in explaining what ENFPs seemingly random "Extraverted Intuition" childlike enthusiasm is actually to bring others some entertainment/happiness, and to loosen others guard down - so we can gain an insight into their values etc - and us on our quest of wisdom.
(Don't worry, one of our flaws are that we see only the good in others by default mode so that our minds can run wild to imagining/suggesting possibilities to others' about the potential that we see in them - thinking of possibilities is something we enjoy. We are oblivious to evil,bad,flawed side of others and puts off Judging till him/her is obviously a jerk - when the person violated our inner values. A few things that I value: Authenticity and Selflessness. Anyone that's pretentious and extremely self-centered gets on my nerve, gets me judging/scrutinizing them. I can't think of anything else on this earth that bothers me.)
I welcome deep talks at all times, please, anyone tease my brain. I enjoy a brain work out with anything intellectual or insightful. The fact that not many are interested in such intellectual exchange render me no choice but to continue to engage others on an superficial, depth-less level - not that I dislike entertaining others and making them smile. (One of my deep down wish is simply for everyone to be happy :))
I think I can answer all of these questions by simply saying ENFPs are driven most of all by a quest for wisdom-----for insight, knowledge and understanding of the whole cosmic picture--and because they are EXTRAVERTS, they do this primarily through social interaction.
So, if ENFPs are generally "Old Souls"---and I believe they are----the wisdom they've acquired is simply due to a constant seeking of wisdom----and I can't emphasize enough that ENFPs seek this wisdom through social interaction.
ENFPs see life as a series of lessons, and interactions with people as opportunities to gain wisdom---a deeper understanding of what this life is all about.
If you've ever interacted with an ENFP, you may have noticed a really strong desire from them to know all about you---what you know, what you believe, your life experiences, any wisdom you may have gained, etc.
This is because ENFPs are CONSTANTLY probing for wisdom, and believe that everyone has some kind of wisdom to offer.
ENFPs are very spiritual and soulful, but they are NOT monastic or ascetic in their approach to spiritual things. They do not see a contradiction between being a wholehearted love of life and a wholehearted devotion to spiritual things.
Many people think sage-like wisdom comes from an ascetic withdrawal from the world and people and the pleasures of living.
ENFPs take an entirely different approach.
ENFPs seek understanding of people, life, the world, the entire cosmos, byENGAGING in it----by soaking up as many different experiences as possible.
This, of course, uses up a lot of physical energy as well as mental energy, but ENFPs are TIRELESS in their pursuit of gaining WISDOM THROUGH EXPERIENCE.
They often forget about physical needs like food and sleep because they are so hell-bent on gleaning understanding from the widest variety of experiences as possible.
So, any time you see an ENFP engaging in social activity, regardless of how superficial it might SEEM, they are probably seeking some kind deep understanding and wisdom.
And by living almost constantly in this wisdom-seeking mode, coupled with the abundance of actual energy expended in activity---ENFPs feel like they have lived multiple lives in the course of their actual life.
"In a nutshell, ENFPs fight constantly to maintain personal integrity, in accordance with their own deeply felt personal values. In order to have great impact on society, one has to get really enmeshed into its institutions, political factions, clubs, clicques, and other groups that the highly individualistic ENFP has no interest in. ENFPs tend to have great people skills and know how to network, but they don't want to have to be phoney or "play the game." So, although ENFPs are potentially excellent catalysts for positive change in society, they often avoid the spotlight because they are ultimately hardcore individualists who prefer doing things on their own terms. ENFPs could change the world, but the world would have to want the ENFPs particulary brand of change, and the world generally doesn't want it. More often, the world recognizes the natural talents and potential of ENFPs and wants to groom them into a more "mainstream" or acceptable version, by "repackaging them or "selling" them as something they are not. ENFPs can seem to be "star material" until people realize they are not actually "team players." Then people try one of two approaches: Either they write off the ENFP as difficult, fickle, stubborn, lazy, or lacking in ambition---and give up on the ENFP, OR they try with all their might to convince the ENFP to give up some of their deeply held personal values and "play the game a little". Both approaches are extremely misguided and turn off the ENFP like nothing else. In fact, ENFPs are easy-going about almost everything---even things that violently upset most people-----EXCEPT the pressure to compromise their personal integrity. The ENFP would be more than happy to contribute to society, but rarely does anyone accept the ENFP on her/his own terms, and that is why ENFPs have "largely given up on the world."
Haha actually the reason why I am copy pasting the texts above is because I actually am somewhat vulnerable and shy *surprise :(* to explaining my more private, inner core. So, I actually prefer an "Introverted Feeling - Fi" cognitive function.
To explain this, I am actually gonna copy paste what others say again.
So, I have been thinking about Fe vs. Fi lately. It seems like it has been mentioned a few times on the forum lately that ENFPs are private about their feelings due to Fi. I concur. I don't talk about my feelings a lot and am usually more about drawing them out of others rather than expressing them a lot myself. I don't think others would say this about me though because I am very expressive and even dramatic at times. I feel like that expressiveness is more Ne though....not so much my inner most feelings. I react with my environment and manipulate it (not in a bad, controlling way) through expression and drama. I feel like I use this to tell stories and communicate, but it isn't nearly so personal as most people assume it is. Do other ENFPs know what I am talking about? I think we seem like extremely open people, when in reality we are very much in control of how much of ourselves we are actually sharing and have a very hidden, private core.
I'm trying to get a good grasp of this. When I compare myself to my INFJ friend, she is much more introverted. She feels very comfortable around me, but is very closed off to most people. However, since she is comfortable with me, she often dominates our conversations. Most of our conversations involve her talking about her feelings a lot. I enjoy listening and share my inner most feelings much less than does she. Fe vs. Fi, or just unique friend dynamic
I've been thinking about this topic as well recently. I can relate to what you are saying Nadette. I always seem to hold back a big piece of myself emotionally despite coming across as very open.
Dominant: Extraverted intuition (Ne)
[edit]Auxiliary: Introverted feeling (Fi)
[edit]Tertiary: Extraverted thinking (Te)
[edit]Inferior: Introverted sensing (Si)
I might appear to be very open, I don't really care about privacy (at least the common societal definition of privacy - we cannot share our material possessions, space, ideas, thoughts), but our feelings... that's what I call privacy.
The thing that I have noticed/seen is that everyone tends to hide a portion of themselves. Fe users tend to do this exact same thing. Only, they tend to focus more on acting nice, saying the right thing, doing the right thing when their happiness/ external cordiality can only be a veil to cover up/mask their hidden selves. Fi users tend to just act bubbly, funny, and/or weird as a method to distract from their own inner pathos - ie., keep the mood light by smoke and mirrors. Fi users, to me, are master magicians by trade. Fe users are harmonious people-pleasers. These are all just tricks/preferences in how to deal with and handle hidden feelings.
There's some dangerous and arresting quality about us ENFPs once you get to peel through the layers...Which very rarely we will trust you with. And when you think we do, that is just the tip of the iceberg.
But the fact that I'm admitting all these and openly expressing my inner values that I stand for, is to accept and acknowledge who I have been in the past, so I can break free and improve myself further.
In the past, all I do was:
http://viennalooi.blogspot.com/2009/08/sometimes-its-difficult-for-me-to.htmlSometimes it's difficult for me to explain myself to others and why I do certain things.Most of the time I just give up explaining that moment, and promised myself that I'll express my rationale in my blog one fine day. Then, they would understand.Sometimes I felt that since it's hard understanding me because I have pretty distinctive and unaccustomed way of contemplations, thoughts, beliefs and values, I'll save the hassle.
To everyone who has taken some time off from your day to wish me today, I sincerely thank you for your well wishes for me. But allow me to redirect the attention or limelight directed to me to shine upon and honour other very special individuals. The first individual who deserves even more well wishes today than me is my mother. It is thanks to her boundless care for me from the moment of conception to this very second, thanks to her carrying me in her womb, thanks to her enduring the every hour and minute of labour pain, thanks to her every hour and minute of working, to earn some food so I could gobble it down, that I am here today – to be able to receive well wishes from you guys. I do wish that anyone who’ve read this note, to realise that our supposedly most special and joyous day was also the day of greatest pain for our mommy. I hope that we can take some time to thank our mommy during our birthdays in the following years of our life. With that, here is my dedication and appreciation for my mom. Thank you mommy for all that you have done for me, now that I am capable, I will care for you during every day of our life together – while you or me still breathe. Other than that, I just want to thank my dad who has dedicated equal times and efforts of his life just to make sure I have enough food, shelter, and fulfil my endless wants in the past. Thank you daddy for all your time working, for even the smallest things that have showed your care for me, every drop of sweat you have dripped for me while working in the office, every problems you faced while working for me, for all this efforts, thank you; I will do the same for you. To my family (Grandma, Hong Joo, Anna, Hong Seh), I would not exchange any family for you guys. Ah Ma have taken care of me since young when papa and mommy weren’t at home most of the time, I sayang Ah Ma. Joo, Ann, Seh, I was so happy to know that you guys actually took the time to bake to learn how to bake a cake for me. That really showed how much you guys understood me, you knew that I value material things (no matter what the price tag is) lightly; you knew that I appreciate the intention, time, and effort behind every little action so much more. I was touched from the very bottom of my heart for such meticulous and attentive understanding from you three :) My lil sis wrote to me today, “Happy birthday Miss Vienna Looi! :D Hope you'll really like our cake! :D You've been the best sister I've ever had :) Thank you for taking good care of me these 16 years. I love you :D ♥ But I think that you all ah.. was the best brother, sister, and family I have. Irreplaceable. I really do like the cake :) so much so much, but I actually I like the cake less, I appreciate the effort that you guys took to go to the baking store, to buy an oven, to buy all the materials needed, every minute of mixing and measuring the ingredients so much more. It really would not have mattered if the cake was burnt, or bad. I probably would still eat it, but the cake was perfect. :) What more can I ask for? For this I thank you guys, and I will continue caring for you guys till the very end of my lifetime. To all my friends who have cared for me through your phone call or messages (on my phone or facebook) today, I thank you. Thanks to all of you that my life is complete. You guys are like the little drops of water that made up the rainbow of my life. Thanks to you, my life is beautiful =) I told my family that I only have one birthday wish. My only birthday wish was, “I wish that everyone would be happy.” Ps: If you find the need to buy me any presents for any reason *hold your horses* I have all my needs fulfilled, and I currently do not have any wants (although I am tempted to ‘want' to know what gifts someone will get for me *just curious* but there's a workaround for that, now I rather want you to tell me what gift you would otherwise get just to fulfil my curiosity. I don't really want the gift :D) I hope for only presents in the following form: 1) Charity Gift Card (Ie: From http://www.justgive.org/ or http://tisbest.org/ I know it works from personal experience. The recipient of the gift card (any amount that you purchased can spend the gift card to donate to the 250 charities listed on the website) A gift of good, rather than the typical gift of stuff :) We can buy things we need ourselves, so why not give a more special gift, a gift that will make the other party feel good about themselves, to fill them up with love and compassion (than fuel them with more self-centeredness), and to help them change the world (according to their visions & wishes of charities to support). I think any recipient will feel good and happy after a charitable act. 2) Otherwise, if donating US dollars intimidates you (that’s exactly why I want to create a Charity Gift Card website cum umbrella website to gather volunteers to help out the many Malaysian charities in need now just like http://www.greaterdccares. 3) If money is a concern (I know the student dilemma), your present to me could be "your time". The intention and real action count so much more than monetary contribution. Message me, and we can volunteer together in CHILD Malaysia or some other charity organisations. Yup, that’s all I want! These are the truest and best birthday gifts :) Ps: I do hope that any of these would inspire you to give the “Gift of Good” to any of your friends celebrating a birthday in the future. Especially, the charity gift card idea. Ps: I don’t want to preach and hope for any of my family and friends to be happy. If you want to be happy, I'll show you a real practical way to be almost constantly happy. View this video: http://video.server.dhamma The results? You name it, nothing really bothers, angers, agitates, or frustrates me anymore (or at least it wouldn't last for more than 3 minutes?) :D I'm quite incapable of dishing out ill will/negative thoughts & feelings towards other people now. Instead, I am constantly feeling quite happy and peaceful. (I just want to help everyone -.-) Message me about any question, I’ll be happy to help out! To sum it all up, thank you my mommy, daddy, ahma, brothers, sister, friends and everyone for the love and care that spills from your actions, messages, or words. I wish that all of you will be smiling from day-to-day! Written with ❤ (so corny *blush; hides my face with a pillow*), Vienna. — with Mommy ❤, Anna Looi, Frank Looi Hong Seh, Vean Seng Looi, Ah Ma ❤ and Louis Looi Hong Joo. |
Makes me so uncomfortable and vulnerable. It makes me blush to myself and wants to hide away and I've attempted to delete it multiple times.
But if this still-shallow MBTI test holds water (for anyone whose interests has been sparked, pls add multiple grains of salt, and be aware that the consequences - it should not root complacency & root you further in your comfort zone, but should be used as a start to acknowledge & improve yourself), "Introverted Feelers - Fi" are idealists who feel but not share their values, "Extraverted Feelers - Fe" are people pleaser, the world will lack "higher benchmark of values" (skews the societal norm bell curve further down the drain). Where's hope, where's improvement for human civilization?
Well, since trying to make myself very uncomfortable aka challenge myself, I now have some anecdotal evidence that when I express my "inner feelings and values", or give what I can give of myself (something that has always been there), good things happen.
For example, this comes from my dear dear friend,
"As your birthday present, last night I donated money to this handicap couple in your name...."
Dear dear friend, if you're reading this, You know who you are, you know me :) but do you know how much this means to me?
This comes all the way from Cambodia,
This comes all the way from Cambodia,
"Happy Birthday! You are a very strong and passionate girl about humanity. Keep up your good attitude and good work. I support your cause
May you have a pleasant day ahead.
Take care and be well always.
PS: I tried to send the card from TisBest. But my credit card couldn't went through cause it only support cards from the states, can't change it to Malaysia or Cambodia. I am staying in Cambodia now, can't past to you envelops too! LOL.
In this case, the credit goes to another friend of mine :) not me. I'm just rechanneling his money.
The $xx.00 TisBest Charity Gift Card you purchased on 06/21/2011 (Code 8JL-QC4) was spent by Jxxx Txx to support Big Brothers Big Sisters, Donors Choose, and Earthjustice. To learn more about a charity and its mission click the link below
Jxxx Txx sends this message:
You gave me this opportunity to give back to this 3 organization. I thank you on behalf of all the people that will be benefited by you!
love,xxx
Thanks for giving a better world!
This was from a dear friend of mine from America,
(another ENFP, oh we rock, also an aspiring Diplomat of the United States of America)
Vienna,
Thank you very much for the gift card. You are one of the FEW people (except my family, lol) who have actually given me something for my birthday this year. Thank you for thinking about me and your thoughtful gift (both for me and the charity I am to donate it to) and your sweet wishes (you think too much of me!!! lol),
it was really you who inspired a lot of us here at AU. Keep up with your beautiful personality and "erase the black dots and fill it with rainbows"-type attitude, that we all love so much-which is Vienna :)
*
I wish you all the best with your university of london law degree. sounds amazing! you must elaborate it to me in more detail! I can't keep track of where in the world you are missy, haha. You are always..everywhere! I also hope you had a faabb time in Australia, I said hi to all the kangaroos for me! lol *
<3 and miss you,
Ashley
PS> keep in touch and visit me again one day soon.
*slashed because it should be :D
All I'm trying to say is:
1) Don't hold on to what you have been in the past,
2) Evaluate your "self" objectively,
3) Challenge yourself to break free from the mould of "self" you have kept yourself in.
4) Soar.
:D
My ongoing project: Develop a TisBest (Edisi Malaysia) website.
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