Tuned in to, Replaying again and again: Let It Be - Beatles
Google Search term: How to deal with selfish people.
Context: Grandma just scolded me, swearing that "if she dies, she will come back as a ghost to hunt me down, and bruise my leg every night."
Not that I'm even remotely afraid of the "ghost" part (trust me, I've worked out how I would calm myself down, confront ghost to understand them if ghosts exist and I ever encounter one) but that this comes as a result of me confronting her that she was too self-centered.
I pity my maid who gets yelled at every moment, she was not even given 5 minutes bathing time without Grandma scolding her.
I heard the yell and attempted to answer while I was shyzer-ing and bathing upstairs. Eventually, I rushed downstairs with only a wrapped towel to attend to her.
The reason of her yell: Her fear of death.
She wanted someone to be by her side every second, in case "something happens to her."
She wanted everyone to bow down to her wants, her request for massages etc.
For 21 years of my life, I'll have to deal with this on a day-to-day basis. On the bright side, that's how I became a good massager.
But I find it incredibly irking when grandma was ignorant of the suffering she cause to every single person in the Looi Family. Yet, she could still say, "I have never done anything wrong in my life, I have always been so kind and good to everyone in my life."
My only contention with this whole thing: I want her to realize her selfishness.
Personal search term: How do I make one realize and come out of their self-centeredness?
How can I improve grandma?
For her own psychological well-being and everyone else around her.
I think I need to start with improving my own patience, sensitiveness, and calmness - in the face of screaming, yelling and scolding.
Equanimity, Vienna, equanimity. Before you'll even have a chance to communicate and achieve any of this:
Update: With some sensitivity, I found out that she was suffering from anxiety.
Me: Grandma, what you have to do is to say to yourself, "I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
Grandma: "I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
"I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
"I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
She repeated that a few times to herself, and ended up laughing and then said "her heart's now cleared up from worries! :D hahaha your words are so wise"
Then, she actually reminded herself of something I used to say to comfort her since I was 13,
开心又一天，不开心又一天，不开开心心过一天?
Translates as,
Whether you're happy or sad, one day of your life passes you by; why don't you choose to live today happily?
Hopefully this post helped anyone :)
Google Search term: How to deal with selfish people.
Context: Grandma just scolded me, swearing that "if she dies, she will come back as a ghost to hunt me down, and bruise my leg every night."
Not that I'm even remotely afraid of the "ghost" part (trust me, I've worked out how I would calm myself down, confront ghost to understand them if ghosts exist and I ever encounter one) but that this comes as a result of me confronting her that she was too self-centered.
I pity my maid who gets yelled at every moment, she was not even given 5 minutes bathing time without Grandma scolding her.
I heard the yell and attempted to answer while I was shyzer-ing and bathing upstairs. Eventually, I rushed downstairs with only a wrapped towel to attend to her.
The reason of her yell: Her fear of death.
She wanted someone to be by her side every second, in case "something happens to her."
She wanted everyone to bow down to her wants, her request for massages etc.
For 21 years of my life, I'll have to deal with this on a day-to-day basis. On the bright side, that's how I became a good massager.
But I find it incredibly irking when grandma was ignorant of the suffering she cause to every single person in the Looi Family. Yet, she could still say, "I have never done anything wrong in my life, I have always been so kind and good to everyone in my life."
My only contention with this whole thing: I want her to realize her selfishness.
Personal search term: How do I make one realize and come out of their self-centeredness?
How can I improve grandma?
For her own psychological well-being and everyone else around her.
I think I need to start with improving my own patience, sensitiveness, and calmness - in the face of screaming, yelling and scolding.
Equanimity, Vienna, equanimity. Before you'll even have a chance to communicate and achieve any of this:
How do I make one realize and come out of their ignorance & self-centeredness?
How can I improve grandma?
Update: With some sensitivity, I found out that she was suffering from anxiety.
Me: Grandma, what you have to do is to say to yourself, "I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
Grandma: "I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
"I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
"I accept that I was scared, but now.. I want to be happy!"
She repeated that a few times to herself, and ended up laughing and then said "her heart's now cleared up from worries! :D hahaha your words are so wise"
Then, she actually reminded herself of something I used to say to comfort her since I was 13,
开心又一天，不开心又一天，不开开心心过一天?
Translates as,
Whether you're happy or sad, one day of your life passes you by; why don't you choose to live today happily?
Hopefully this post helped anyone :)
No comments:
Post a Comment