This was not the serious and comprehensive post I wanted to write on the topic of death. But watching this video reminds me of some of the things I wanted to say. I might as well do a simple post first.
Just as death would grip us by the leg one day, there is no escape; never will there be an escape.
That was a truth that I have accepted long ago.
I remember contemplating about death while staring at a corpse being post-mortem (while at a hospital attachment in Hospital Kuala Lumpur), fully displaying the man's flesh, brain, lungs, intestines, skin infected with corpse-worm/maggots; I thought I would end up like that one day too.
Knowing that, when I picked up an organ donation form, I ticked off all the check boxes on my organs (heart, kidneys, eyes, liver, lungs, pancreas, intestine, and thymus) and tissues (including bones, tendons (both referred to as musculoskeletal grafts), cornea, skin, heart valves, and veins). They should go for organ transplantation when I die -- ashes back with the sea. I told my parents that its too simple of a choice - a choice between:
a) letting the maggots have the last bite and eat up every piece of my body, or
b) giving away my organs or tissues that I don't need any longer, as a "gift of life" for one (or two or more) person.
To this, they just stared at me, without the ability to reply or stop me :) (Maybe you can try the simple reasoning above if you shall face obstruction too?)
Ah, I remember a few minutes later, they told me that a person should arrive in 'one piece' in heaven (or hell) when he/she dies; thus, likewise, I should too.
To that, I just asked them, how do they do there is a heaven or hell? Well, I don't. I don't agree with the conventional, imaginary concept of heaven, hell, and karma. I believe explanation and pictures of such 'physical locations' exist for conventional illustrative purposes. Realistically, my concept of heaven, hell is simple. Karma is nothing more than a law of action-reaction like Newton's Third Law that exists naturally. When we are agitated, secretly criticizing/killing another person in our head, having ill will about others, jealousy, angry, anxiety, that is hell, right then and right there. When we are constantly feeling joy, at peace with others and ourselves, empathetic, caring, helping others, that blissful, relaxed, at ease feeling is heaven, right here and right now.
Too many people expressed or often wondered why I am naive, why I am not fearful, why I am so childish, why I am idealistic (cmon, I know what you think ;) I hid, I kid that I don't.)
For example, on my about me in facebook, I wrote:
About me:
Striving to gain an extra drop of wisdom and compassion unto myself and the world, by the day, is the direction and purpose of my life. :)
Just as a jug fills drop by drop.
I know and have experienced that constant joy and bliss - is not an elusive concept, and - can be achieved.
My ideals:
I believe in trying everything at least once.
I believe in being a person with the heart of gold.
I believe in being the change I want to see in the world 365 days a year.
To change the world, I must first change myself.
What do you make out of such description?
Understanding psychological preferences (more simply put, personality, but not an accurate description) and individuals according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I know that 58% of the population has Judging preference. That means they prefer to draw quick conclusion about individuals (this is helped by 75% of the population who prefers sensing to intuitive preference), http://www.themindbehind.net/mbti/assessment.html so I accept that it is more than likely that you have concluded and dismissed me as an idealistic but naive individual. Truth is, I am not happy-go-lucky just because I see only rainbows, and never had encountered a storm in my life. I will probably share my life history one day. But behind these smile, I used to be a victim of bullies since primary school up till high school, left almost constantly alone by my parents or ditched by friends (if any), whose life purpose was to speak less than 3 words a day, who felt that she was unworthy of befriending, ugly, worthless, incapable of attracting any friend, etc. :) It's just I have grown and transcended past these, and decided to continue smiling.
Understanding psychological preferences (more simply put, personality, but not an accurate description) and individuals according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I know that 58% of the population has Judging preference. That means they prefer to draw quick conclusion about individuals (this is helped by 75% of the population who prefers sensing to intuitive preference), http://www.themindbehind.net/mbti/assessment.html so I accept that it is more than likely that you have concluded and dismissed me as an idealistic but naive individual. Truth is, I am not happy-go-lucky just because I see only rainbows, and never had encountered a storm in my life. I will probably share my life history one day. But behind these smile, I used to be a victim of bullies since primary school up till high school, left almost constantly alone by my parents or ditched by friends (if any), whose life purpose was to speak less than 3 words a day, who felt that she was unworthy of befriending, ugly, worthless, incapable of attracting any friend, etc. :) It's just I have grown and transcended past these, and decided to continue smiling.
The reason behind my display of spontaneous, childish, idealistic characteristics is due to a threefold reason which I rarely share.
(I have different layers - though not intentionally; its just that everyone wants to talk about degree, job, complaints about life, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc :P I think its due to the 75% Sensing-25% Intuitive divide; such matters are minuscule to me* but I find it satisfying in that it gives me more insight to the person's inner-world, substance or 'essence'. Also for most people, you need to talk about those thing first before being allowed access to the deeper levels of their mind and heart. [Btw, I do not think that a degree/career/happenings in life should define a person. "Money or the career is my point of life; if I lose my job, my money, I kill myself." That's an exaggeration but the common societal emphasis on these apparent, superficial forms over innate substance and character is shallow, stupid, and a madness. No, these are means, not ends. I will never ever judge a person by these apparent, superficial forms. I want to know your ends. Why did you become a doctor? An engineer? A lawyer? An entrepreneur? What is behind that certificate or job title - your motivations, who or what is this all for? A doctor will not immediately gain my respect just because he/she is a doctor, for all you know, that doctors prescribes medicines and all kind of treatment not for you but for himself - his pocket. Don't be ignorant, this is the truth that is happening more often than not. I personally disrespect the emphasis of valuing surface over substance, apparent reality over actual reality.]
For a select few which I do share my reasoning with:
Like my 45 year old emcee partner, told me that my physical/apparent reality does not match up with my mind, which is at least a ripe 31 years old.
Or my parents whom I constantly express my thoughts to - They ended up pestering me - perpetually - to be less complex, and less matured; the V mommy famously repeated this 3 times a day, "You are over matured for your age, all I want is a simple little girl." (She just did it again yesterday)
To me, I find these perceptions - naive or matured - to be nothing short of an amusement.
I smile at all these perceptions. Amusing :)
Its just that I have went through the threefold process of:
1) Being painfully aware of the reality (of unsatisfactory, of suffering http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths),
2) Accepted it,
3) Decided to move beyond to transcend conditions in life - so I could act in a manner that will not add more suffering to myself and others.
Everyone sees the manifestation of the third stage - that bubbly, cheerful me - which was a result of a conscious decision made after contemplating and accepting reality.
What I think/ some of the realities that I have contemplated before:
1) Dying should be like sleeping, just not waking up. (Isn't sleeping pretty comfortable? I mean you have no worries, responsibilities, homeworks, etc.)
2) Every step I take in life, I am a step closer to death.
3) One of the purpose of my life is to be able to smile to the people around me during the last moment of my breath saying "It's ok, I have no regrets already."
- Knowing the 3 things above, Why not let me have fun, swim around :D like the kid in the video to explore life, the world, be happy without any possessions (bungalows? you can't swim and explore, if you hold on to so many things; loans will drown you), enjoy and live life to the fullest while I still breath, help others, and Carpe Diem?
So, I must confess, accepting death is not a fearful but liberating experience. :)
So in the face of unsatisfying conditions and problems in life, let me act - not react blindly - in the most positive and constructive manner possibe to solve the problems. Problems does not translate to my suffering - if I do not allow it to be. Accepting all these, in the mean time, Let me be a kid! Let me be joyful, have fun swimming and exploring the world and life while I still can *before death grips me like the sotong in the video* :D
Contrary to others, I view my ideals or life purpose not as a goal or destination to be reached, but as a path, a road. As long as I am on this path that I have carved out and determined for myself, me am happy.
If like me, you have accepted that, you could also give others a "gift of life" Why not? :D
In fact, according to World Health Organisation (WHO) Malaysians have one of the lowest organ donation rate in the world.
"Only 17 people in Malaysia’s population of 28 million had actually donated their organs or tissues in 2009."
While "12,133 patients still await for organ donations, kidney patients topping the list at 12,100.”
WHO: Rate of donation in Malaysia among lowest in the world
Means if you are waiting for organ donations to save your life, you will only have 0.00140113739% chance of survival.
17 people out of 28,000,000 :(
I believe you who are reading this - making it this far - have a bigger heart than that and a wise enough mind to realise the truth of our impermanence. :D
I believe you who are reading this - making it this far - have a bigger heart than that and a wise enough mind to realise the truth of our impermanence. :D
So, now, I took a lead by snatching number 18, who is snatching number 19, 20, 21?
Here's your chance to "be the change in the world" or in Malaysia.
Here's your chance to "be the change in the world" or in Malaysia.
Join me, you can do that by registering here: http://www.mst.org.my/donorreg.html
*Joking with spacey eyes* I thought only God could give the Gift of Life O.O I never know.. you can too! You... have the power... to become God-like. Voaw..... o.O Wicked Sick.
(Please leave a comment if you are number 18, 20, 21, so on. The 12,133 patients would thank you for their life - with more than any gratitude you can ever imagined - incessantly.)
*My mind's so much more stimulated and fulfilled when discussing about philosophies, real world issues, quantum physics (or even metaphilosophy - a term I came up with when I realize that I was philosophizing about philosophies I have learnt with Ari Fodeman; where I also came up with my 'Drum Theory' (you've heard of the String Theory? i build off of that to develop my drum theory :)) as to how life started from action-reaction pair, where the reaction was created through those vibrating matter being glue together by chemical ingredients left off in the space which started off as a random collision but eventually forming in a particular order *think protein primary-becoming secondary,tertiary structure* to become Drum like action-reaction model structure. *imagine enzyme but not quite* thereby forming the very basic model of action-reaction in a nucleus, imagine 100000 of these drums and you will get the nucleus activity, regulating activities, after sensing information which hits it like a drum beat and rebouding/reacting to it, enabling the development of living cells which are basically build off these action-reaction drum like model. haha. this was the result of my 5 minutes brainstorm session about how life started on earth. This was after we talked about religions, metaphilosophy, etc but shortly before we started singing random melodies that comes off the top of our head to compose our own original song building off each other :D so fun. truly fun. satisfying indeed.) For this, I welcome anyone to challenge me please :D lets discuss, teach me something that I don't yet know, lets learn together.
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