Chapter 5.1.1: Why my "idealism"?

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  Amnesty International Polska

  Development Intern · February 2009 to May 2009 · Warsaw, Poland

  • Peace Project 2009

    February 2009 to May 2009

    Taught Peace, and cross-cultural understanding to 25,000 Polish students across different cities' high school in Poland; this was made possible by a group of 22 countries' delegation from around the world - where I represented my country, Malaysia.

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  Rotary International

  Development Intern · In 2009

You'll understand where I come from by watching the following.

Some of the things I have seen, I have experienced, I have challenged, and I have understood.

More context of why:

Tuned in to, Replaying again and again: Let It Be - Beatles

Google Search term: How to deal with selfish people.

Chapter 5.1: My Past "Self" -- Breaking away from it.

The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained to liberation from the self.- Albert Einstein, The World As I See It (1949)

I thought it might be interesting to provide some context into my "self" as explained by a personality test (more aptly put, its actually a personal preference test) taken with a psychologist about 5 years ago. (Here's what you get yourself into when people think you can be a leader just because you talk & laugh too much and gifted you a sponsored leadership training camp)


I somewhat want to provide an understanding of the context of my "idealism" (again,common societal view).


According to the MBTI, I tested 5 years ago as an ENFP.
I think that too many description on the internet are far too vague, they say ENFP are driven by our "inner values." But really, what inner values are those?

Chapter 5: On the Self. What is "I"? What is "me"?

"A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive."
- Albert Einstein, 1954

To build on what Einstein said, I think that our almost mechanized behaviours - to avoid things that pain or displeasure us and to crave for pleasures - are driven by a wrong concept of self.

I.


What is I?

I seems to refer to either my physical form and mental entities (personality, memories, etc).
That is still the apparent reality.

The actual reality: We use I for convenience.
"I" am actually made of cells. Breaking that down further, "I" am made of atoms.
To be exact, 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms.
Every atom lasts 0.001 second (metastable state) and 0.000000001 second (excited/high energy state).
So technically, every 0.000000001 - 0.001 second, the atoms making up "me" dies off and were replaced with new ones (energy transferred from the food we eat).
So "I" die and is reborn again every second.

I think it helps to imagine ourselves as a "mass of bubble" popping away and replaced with new bubbles.
Alternatively, you can imagine a river.
If I take a dip & came out of "The River" 5 minute ago, is it "The same river" as I am seeing now?

It also helps to question,
when you say something like "I want to play football!"

Who and what is the I that you're referring to?
The I that has popped away a few second ago, or the current I that's anew?

Chapter 4: Happiness. Joy.

The term Happiness seems to be somewhat convoluted by much preconceived notions. Most of these notions stem off from the basic assumption that "Desires fulfilled = Happiness".
Capitalism is built off of this assumption. However, capitalism have been illogical, unfulfilling, and unrealistic in too many ways.
Just one of the why it is unrealistic:
Look,
If Desires fulfilled =Happiness
Realistically, Human desires are never fulfilled* = So people will never be happy?

* Yet possible, if we purify our mind and heart. Desires in itself are not bad, nor will it cause unhappiness. But attachment to desires, will. Attachment to desires are not an inherent human nature (just what we do, thinking that temporary pleasures will make us happy), but an inherent impurity in human - that could be 'picked out'.

Happiness is to me today - joy.

The ultimate Joy that I have experienced in meditation*, shocking but true, comes from a still, peaceful, quiet, equanimous, and empty mind.

That moment of realizing you were experiencing complete stillness and emptiness, although only a few seconds, but..wow.

Imagine your mind was as still, empty and calm as the space in the universe.But with infinite consciousness and heightened awareness of every occurrences.
The mind was free from bustling mental activities and became perfectly still.

Empty; devoid of self; but never more aware of everything.

Schubert's "La Serenade"

3.1 Volunteerism

Often times, I feel that there is a lack of volunteerism and civic engagement (of social, political, economical issues) among youths in Malaysia.

You can be sure that I would advocate for volunteerism and civic engagement (which I know will benefit youths innately) everywhere I find suitable :)

[Forgive me for my shorthand use of actual comments/msg that I've posted on FB as part of my blog post to convey my thoughts. This would be so much more efficient - since I would usually have said what I want to say in conversations - than waiting for me to draft an impeccable post about the same thing over again. I'm very anal of a perfectionist - I once saved about 300 draft posts in my previous blog.]

I know right? oh dumdum vienna :D *smack myself for my own stewpidity*

1) I have an idea!

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• 12 August

  Vienna Looi

  • Daniel 

i'm coming to barcamp!

• lets go together?
• btw, I have an idea.
• to promote Volunteerism & a spirit of care in Malaysian society 
• (But i have not a single clue on how to develop a website in malaysia)
• - the idea's modelled against something i have personally been through in Washington DC.
• However, i have a farewell to attend on Sat 6.30pm onwards
• IF i have to choose to pitch my idea on the 1st or 2nd day
• which is more effective? - at speaking and mobilizing ppl?
  
  
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    12 August

    Daniel Y.S. Tan

    • woahhh...
    • first...nice to see you back! 
    • and welcome to barcampkl! 
    • asa matter of fact, i am one of the main organisers for malaysia and yes, i will be able to help you 
    • i'll be going there early like 8am
    • and staying overnight till the 2nd day
    • you're welcomed to stay overnight with us too 
    • i can get my partner to do that website thingy or you 
    • just need to understand how you want to push this effort forward 
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    12 August

    Vienna Looi

    • If you check out this website:http://greaterdccares.org/HomePage/index.php/home.html
    • http://greaterdccares.org/projects/viewProject.php?_mode=project_intro&_clearFlag=course%2Cspecialevent 
      Greater DC Cares has an excellent,
    • straightforward way of organizing volunteers
    • (I've personally went through the process) People can get orientated to become volunteers
    • through the website, search for days they want to volunteer for
    • they will find a list of organizations, actitivities,
    • and no. of volunteers needed,
    • once they sign up, the precise location and contact person information would be sent to them.
    • I intend this to be an umbrella body/website for all the charitable organizations in malaysia.
    • I would also want to Combine https://www.tisbest.org/ the idea of a Charity Gift Card
    • to this website.
    • Ie: for birthday presents, ppl can buy a RM30 charity gift card, give it to their friend, and their friend can choose to donate to any of the hundreds charity organizations that would be listed on the website itself.
    • (It is also of my wish that through this way, we could see ppl start to care about each other, realising the hhumanity and love that exist within each other, regardless of their race, age, eonomic status, i think this is a way forward to truly 1 Malaysia, and 1 Caring Malaysia.)
      
      

To materialize my goals, I have even found website designers to would help develop websites for non-profits organizations and causes for free. I'm providing their links here to anyone who might need such help too. :)

http://www.vanillafactory.com/