Malaysia's Constitution.

A life lesson on keeping your virtues to yourself.

I have been frequenting the Washington Buddhist Vihara a lot of late. I decided that I need a break from my heedless academic pursuits to meditate upon the reasons of me being in DC, and evaluate upon what I have achieved so far in line with my goals in life. In the Vihara, I did some silent meditation and yoga. But what I'd really what to convey through this post is a beautiful story and teaching I've returned with yesterday. I thought I'd share this story that I learned out of a chat with Bhante Dhammasiri (the chief monk).

Our discussion stemmed from the History Channel documentary on Buddhism & Science (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-wuOYlxMSY) that I came across. In the documentary, monks were exhibiting extraordinary capabilities (such as steaming an icy cold towel using the power of their mind & meditation). And I also brought up an inquiry upon my friends' experience of being asked to pay to visit certain Buddhist temples in DC. This of which I didn't view as a righteous practice if one understands the Dhamma (Buddhist teaching).

Although I'd have great respect for those who have trained their mind through meditations to be able to achieve such capabilities, I believe that these are just side effects which should come along with their practice but should not be the main focus. Bhante then expressed his consensus by making a joke about dying as a "steaming monk". :) This is of course not a very successful achievement; I believe beyond every practices and prescription (whether if its Buddhists' dhamma, Christian, Islamic or Jewish doctrines), we should strive to understand why such prescription or practice. Don't follow 'the way' blindly, there is only so far as 'the leaded or prescribed way' will bring you to. Train yourself along the way to understand why you are taking 'the way', because that distinguishes you with a 'leaded herd'. To be enlightened means to understand & undertake 'the way', not to follow 'the way' like a herd. The leaded road can come to an end, but to be enlightened means you should be able to continue from there onwards.

Then I was bringing up my worries about the practices of paying for temple visits. (If I had to die one day, I shall choose to die with a smile and an unending qualms with capitalism. Although I understand that it may be vital for human sustenance, capitalism is just too shallow, artificial, and self-interested for my liking. I apologize for my convictions :) if it might offend.)

He then shared this story. (Please attempt read it beyond the literal story telling)

One day, Buddha with his disciples were trying to cross a river. They were waiting patiently for the boatmen to take them across the river one by one. In the mean time, an achieved meditator just simply walked on the water to the other side of the river. So, a few of Buddha's yet to be enlightened disciples enquired why didn't the Buddha simply do the same too (if he have the capability to)?

Buddha simply asked them, "how much does it cost to pay the boatmen for a trip across the river?" This of which, his disciples answered, "A penny." "So, what do you think I should do with my capabilities?" Buddha replied.

I personally took this as a story to stay humble. Even if you have extraordinary capabilities or have performed virtuous deeds, keep it to yourself.

For the two elements which know no boundaries - kindness and knowledge - keep an empty cup. Let us not assume a filled cup on how much goodness we have did, nor how much knowledge we have gained through out the years, for we can only fill our cups - learn and do so much more - when we assume an empty cup.

Assume an empty cup, strive for depth in your cup; but never use what you have in your cup to undermine (or compare to) others. Instead, use it to bolster others.

What I would name a daughter -- Joy :)

During my second week in college, I remember meeting a girl by the name 'Joy' -

that just tickled me into a moment of epiphany.

And the thoughts of "how wonderful it would have been to have a lil girl named after 'Joy' (when I have one in the future)" kept running through my mind. It just strikes me as the only thing that really matters.

And joy would be simply the only and everything I want for her.

(Silly Vienna says:"Much better than naming her 'Lavendar' or 'Fleurise', don't you think so? ahha.

In case you haven't realised, I love flowers. They are one of the most natural and beautiful things in the world. They make me smile.

Baby Vienna 101:

"It probably has to do with how flo-wer was the third word she ever learned how to pronounce after 'papa' & 'mommy'" - V's mom) "Why" was the fourth word I ever learned how to pronounce. From that moment onwards, I went all wild. My parents said my "why" (curiosity to understand everything in the world) never ends until I sleep.

Its really funny cause I could still recall asking my mom - of a few why this and that - which would revert me to my dad to answer the following 10 why, which would then revert me to my grandma, then to all the uncle, aunties, teenagers there is in the room. *Simulation: Next target, Here I go again :D*

Despite this, according to mommy V, I'm surprisingly easy to take care of as a baby --- quiet/obedient (to the extend that the pak cik beside the taxi driver seat did not realise that my mom was carrying a baby in her hands; not a single shriek) but I would still sing and lullaby myself to sleep (when I wasn't capable of speech yet).

Because of all my questions, mommy V also remarked that I'm always very 精 (wise?) to the extend that "I don't have any childhood", "I've never seen your immaturity, or 童真 (childish side)" HAHA!! This is because my mom just have never seen me in a group of friends! :DDD

My theory: Home is my serious learning ground (which includes being the leader/tai ka jie/take care of my 3 younger siblings/ensure justice is enforced at home with 4 constantly competing fighting for more food/clothes/toys siblings, with parents which we only see once/twice in a week) Outside of home is my PLAYGROUND :D this is where you'll find me being what i can't be at home - immature, childish, to unwind and have fun!

I don't know how it works for others; and if there's logic to reverse my playground site :D (Back then, not like I could ask those kids/friends my "why"s.) But I kept this mode even now, when its appropriate, and unless situation demands it. (Unfortunately, many people will probably judge/come to a conclusion way too early of people. but I treat it as a process of screening of people, those who will understand, will. those who don't have little depth/maturity to see beyond the surface, its a pity for themselves.) Wow, this is Vienna's psychology 101.

The USA & Thoughts.

I have too much thoughts.

Before I fall into my usual pitfall of "I'll get back to this when I have the time to", I should do this the very moment any thoughts flickered in my mind. For now, let me attempt to trace back my train of thoughts or at least unearth what's left of me.

I haven't blogged since I arrived in the US.

Firstly, the United States of America. For everything in the world, there are good and bad sides of things. I could go on forever outlining these. For now, know that I find the academics challenging but loving it. Washington DC is amazingly stimulating (especially when you are 1.5 miles away from the embassy -- you get called up for teleconference with the PM, you get to know diplomats, you get to make connections with Ministers of Malaysia when they are in DC, you get to visit the Supreme Court, think-tanks, non-profits and et cetera). I love the intellectual vibe. The fact that the influence of power is lingering around every corner is scary. The world is real.

I decided to take a weekend off to escape the campus and went for an Entrepreneurship Seminar organized by the ministries. We were sponsored a 3 days 2 nights stay in the hotel; so I took the chance to 'Zen' out - soak in a warm bath tub, walked around the pool, and slept on posh beds (in comparison to my current social reality: triplet dorms + community bathroom; don't take it wrong, I'm contented though :) ).

Ok, I'm getting too long-winded here. I need to speak to the research librarian. Be sharp and quick, Vienna!

Basically, this little time off was really an reenergize+refocus break for me :)

Now, my thoughts:

- The seminar can be carried out with much more inherent values and success. A 2 full days lecture about entrepreneurship is similar to the futile attempt of lecturing someone into knowing how to ride a bike. I proposed in my feedbacks that the next entrepreneurship seminar should consist of a proposal contest coupled with mentorship of capable personalities.

- Malaysia government is realizing. Look, they brought together the MARA, JPA, Petronas etc. scholars (who're mostly in bio-technology), and attempt to leverage the advantage of our resource rich country by teaching the scholars entrepreneurship skills. The government also promised lots of government assistance.

- Philosophy (I wanna talk about it :P) is an enjoyable time waster. Thoughts: Is there a way to rationally prove something beyond the five senses we have?

Also, I need to be able to prove to Americans that democracy is not necessarily the best system because other regimes has never been executed properly (communism and theological government unfortunately falls in the wrong hands and the wrong time in history). Taking the side for theological government, I argued that if you value human life and materialism no more than spirituality (as with the case with hindus and buddhist), the merits of why democracy is better - higher life expectancy which translates into higher quality of life/good life - is no more better than the 'good life' defined by religion as being attuned with your spirituality, and the leaders who rule are the noble religious man (say, Dalai Lama), why isn't theology government better?

- I shared my grievance as a Chinese to my new fellow Malay friends in my belief that ideas and change are like ripples of water. The day when we start living in Malaysia from each other's shoes, there can be no where else closer to heaven on earth than Malaysia.

- I shared with my fellow Malaysians in excitement: the joy of mamaking, the genuinely nice people, the food, the culture, the price, the warmness, the niceness :))

- No, I can't potentially exhaust this list of thoughts. Just to prove that you don't want to know about what's going on in my mind...

Thoughts: Are feelings grounded rationally?

Is there morality? Is there justice? Is there right and wrong? Is there values?

Are all these socially constructed ideas or part of innate human nature? If they are not socially constructed ideas, why are they relative?

For now, my view -- perhaps there are no such things as justice, morality, and values beyond the fact that they are just socially invented concepts. Nevertheless, they are vehement to the society.

[Even if I know that I was injected the idea - of filial piety - to love my mom, I still love my mom just because :) ]

Haha, i shall persevere to be an self-knowing but adamant irrationalist, because I'm no robot; I am an ENFP :P

See, I told you. Blogging about my thoughts is a bad idea because my thoughts are like a spider web (nothing in the world doesn't intrigue me) and the things I think about is boring. I'm boring :P

Schooling & education.

My new friend from China wrote me something really cute in the email today. :)
Even if he was never bestowed an opportunity to finish his secondary school education, he was capable of articulating much more substance and knowledge in his writings than many of us who were much more fortunate are capable of. So thou shall believe to never let schooling interfere with your education.
Besides that, I had so many thoughts which I haven't been penning down for the past few months.
I shall write when I've reconciled my thoughts again, before those thoughts pass me by. :)

The World & Burma.

I can't help it!
I'm studying for AP World History now, I can't resist the urge to want to go out there, and travel the world and places which I am reading about.

Hmm, on a deeper and gloomier note, here's also a video about the Burma's military junta which I've stumbled upon quite some time ago.

I felt terribly saddened that this is happening in the 21st Century; and I felt for the lives of these minorities who have no security, no home to belong to, no food, and ‘a life full of suffering’ as one of the villager said.





I hope we could all open up our eyes, mind, and heart, and attune them to what's happening around the world around us. (Burma really isn't that far away, is it?)
And, new wars are waged.

I digged this up while applying for the United Nations World Food Programme (through AIESEC).

I had to answer the question:

Question 6*

What has caught your attention in the news lately and why?

Ps: I think that at this point of my life, the whole US application mania has really urged me into rediscovering myself, into reflecting upon past accomplishments and inspirations in life and into propelling myself from there onwards.

I'm getting too idealistic and ambitious. haha. (Wait til you hear what I want to do; Let's hope that its for my own good. My parents would definitely digress on this ;P They want me to be simple. :P)

Luckily these guys are here to join me.

Inspire.

I was in Peace Project in Poland when I first saw this video. Being the ENFP that I am, I teared :) The Opening week, packed full with inspirational training workshops from Amnesty and Rotary, was amongst many moments in Peace that has deeply inspired me.
I certainly came out becoming a much more idealistic person.





Next, I'll attempt to list down ways we can help as a student:

1) UN Volunteers online.

An Aphorism :)

There is no one I do not love, there is no one I do not trust, and there is no one I do not forgive.

- M. Cheng Yen -

This quote radiates so much love and compassion.
It inspires me to add this to my ideals on how I would treat others in life.

What Matters?

Many too often, we are clouded by so many things to do, so many errands to attend to, so many problems to solve in our daily life. We got so busy that we forgot the most important things in life and to ask ourselves, 'What really do matter?"

All problems may seem magnificent at that moment, but when you take a step back, look back at it from a larger view, you know that its not that big of a problem after all.

Here's a book that I have uploaded. Have a read about important problems plaguing our world. I realized there's so much problems and suffering in the world. And, who are we to complain?

There's also a page on "What one person (you) can do to help change the world" in the end :)

- Let it load with patience -

What Matters

I have a dream..

I was at Project Malaysia reading up articles of matters concerning Malaysia.
Too much can be said about Malaysia. Ongoing corruption, 'divide & rule' apartheid like governance, the judiciary, the whole failing education system, human rights issue, ethnic relations, social welfare, unfair economic opportunities, and more inadequacies.

Although I was a trainee journalist with International Centre for Journalists, I beg to digress from yet writing another report. I felt that too much talking has already been done. Talking and acknowledging problems helps much less than taking real actions.

This was why I initiated the Project Exchange for Change Malaysia as a realistic step that I could take to address the root of revolving national issues and problems.

ExchangeforChangeMalaysia.blogspot.com

I dare say I was alone in my effort in organizing the whole project but, in the end, I achieved my goal. I did not know where my effort will take me. Along the way, I knew that I have gathered at least 340 Malaysian youths in my group and have passed the message of real actions we can take in hoping for change to 2000 Malaysian youths.

The point I am trying to make is that one person, can make a difference, if you want to.


Education can change a nation.

Recently, I have also been pondering upon my idea of establishing a liberal arts college in Malaysia.
I felt that this was one of the most contributory action I could take in my life to actually change Malaysia.
I'll continue this post some other time :)

I found a secret to happiness.

It's my blog! hahahaha..

I found out that I can make myself smile again :)

Perhaps I just forgotten about *the secret*:

Secret no.1: Singing "I'm Yours" to myself when I'm feeling down in Poland. I'm Yours is my absolute all time fav. :)
Secret no.2: Practice loving-kindness. Like, wishing the stranger who just cursed me for stopping my feet to look around in Prague to be well and happy *with a smiley*. This works like a charm, try it ;) doing it, you really couldn't help to not feel angry at all.

Haha, I'm such a retard.

But at least, I'm a happy retard.

Staying calm and good.

Few days ago, I went for a meditation retreat for 2 days.

I returned with a refreshed mind, feeling such calmness and peacefulness that I could never have imagined. There's also this tint of silent joy in my heart. :)

I observed how relentless my mind truly was as every thoughts came and pass by the seconds.
Most of the time, worrisome thoughts kept coming to me; most of it are because of unfulfilled task.

So, I went home promising myself to fulfill every promises I made.

I prepared dinner for my family so they could enjoy it after returning from their trip.
Even if it had taken me almost 2 days, just grinding the fried grated coconut using pestle and mortar into paste, hunting down ingredients -for rendang, 3 dishes, homemade soy milk- then cooking and washing it all up, I felt very happy doing it all. :)
(And I cooked good rendang! Yummy black peppered mushroom in oyster sauce and broccoli with prawns, haha yummy!)

I'll be waking up to meditation daily from today onwards ;)

What's the intrigue - to read books and watch documentaries - all about?

I suddenly felt the urge and intrigue to read more.

A habit that I never had; perhaps, its because of the way I was brought up.

Well, my parents have never really went against or encouraged anything, that of which includes my studies and my leisure activities.

1) During my 10 years of schooling, my mom came once or twice for the report card. My dad - none. (or once?)
2) Whenever I'm found studying for exams, my dad would ask me to go to sleep instead. He often says, "If tomorrow's exam is a battlefield, you should preserve your 'bullets' for tomorrow instead of wasting it off now, now go to sleep!"
3) "Studies are not everything in life..." He went on with his life philosophies, examples etc.
4) "You can go anywhere or come back anytime you want, just give us a call." I never had curfews.
5) I used to see my parents twice a week.

They are busy with their works, I well understand that. So, instead of drilling over their scarce attention, I turned to the positive side of things. I used the freedom and trust they bestowed upon me wisely. :)
Haha I certainly hope I was a good role model/sister x)

Back to the books, actually I have never fully read a single book beyond the "interesting" textbooks in schools. I wonder how'd I learned how to write? Well, for that fact, I conclude that I must be naturally talented! Hahahaha! ;D

Anyway, I have a knack for watching documentaries and reading what I deem as essential to the understanding of humanity of late. I like understanding things and the world around me.

Oh I also want to learn languages like Tamil (to understand Indian's culture) and Arab (to understand the Koran). I felt like languages are the keys to understanding people.

So many things to do, so much knowledge, so little hours!

As for now, I have to sleep and prepare for Malaysiakini's assignment tomorrow. I'll be producing a short documentary about Malaysia's Judiciary. Haha lets hope I do good. :)
Oh btw, today we did some reporting in front of the camera, I did it in one take ;)

List of books on my watchlist:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/204300
http://meteorplum.blogspot.com/2009/02/100-most-important-books-to-read-before.html
http://artofmanliness.com/2008/05/14/100-must-read-books-the-essential-mans-library/

For the change I believe in.

What change do u hope to see in Malaysia?

We all have a say,SPEAK UP & be heard.

Join the wave of CHANGE. http://bit.ly/3ktz80

Love.

I love my daddy, mommy, anna, hong joo, hong seh and ah ma :)
Thank you for your care & everything in between, so I have what I have.

Haha just thought of saying this when I felt so. I'm sorry I'm such a strong character, supposedly expressive yet shy in these lurveylurvey stuff.
gah,such useless dumdum! *frowns*

Oh well, I'm hitting the sack with my comfy blanket on. Lala!

My essay - a draft.

Please feel free to comment, on my mistakes and what could be improve on. :) I'd appreciate it greatly!

When the 22 of us sat in a circle, I saw the world¹ smiling at me.

What began as a need for self-discovery and an urge to change the world for the better got me travelling alone 5652 miles to Poland. There, with 22 other volunteers representing countries from all over the world, I worked in development internship called “Peace Project”. And together we spread peace, taught about cross-cultural understanding, overcoming prejudices and intolerance, one high school at a time, in Poland. It was a project that made some headlines in the monoethnic and monoreligion country’s newspaper.

"When I grow up, I want to be a suicidal bomber, I will make sure every part of my body and every drop of my blood will shatter through the land called United States of America!" with her fist raised up high, the 4 feet tall Palestinian girl cried and said fiercely. “Bravo, bravo and bravo!” her teacher applauded with the rest of the class. These were footages from a documentary I saw on Islamic terrorism. I was shocked to the very inside to find out that beyond my world where Muslims were the most polite people I knew, reciting poetry of jihad and attending suicidal bomber’s induction camp was a common ideology in Palestine. But I knew that for who they’ve become, they the terrorists are not the ones to be blame.

“How could this be happening in the world?” I questioned while staring out of the train’s window leaving Zakopane, observing sights so foreign to me. The wooden houses built without nails between the uneven terrains of the mighty Tatra Mountains 4000ft above sea level. I stared at its mountain top where I was stuck when a storm hit with wind and snow so strong, I could barely open my eyes or move a step forward. My mind traveled on like a speed up movie across lands, desserts, rainforests, seas, faces of people and came to a halt when I saw the perfection of the world. The perfect distance from the sun, created the perfect circulation of air, water, ocean current and wind that created climates giving rise to cultures, individuals, economics and politics. These colossal interactions of chemistry between elements, biology in human body, and physics of matter were flawless. It is the greatest gift to all human. Despite that, in the magnanimous and wondrous earth, human often see only their selves which is why injustice and war happens.

When I was awarded the Distinguished Diplomat for representing Israel in the Security Council, I realized how much I have changed, coming from a country that forbids me from entering Israel and taught me 2 pages on World History. Now I understand and see from the eyes of an Israeli Jewish soldier who one-third of his people was obliterated through decades of mass extermination, he defended their right to exist and a safe place in the world they could call home. And from the eyes of a Palestinian girl, who her father was shot dead mistaken as a terrorist by the Israeli soldier and growing up with an ideology indoctrinated in her schoolbooks, sermons of religious teachers and leaders, she gave up her life to be a Shahid² for her father, religion and country.

“Who’s wrong and who’s right? When will this come to an end?” I may not know the answers to that, but what I do know is that hatred will not cease by hatred, but only through love. I could now feel how it is like to be in the shoes of a Polish, of an Argentinean, of an Armenian, of an Italian, of a Japanese, of a Pakistani, of a Peruvian and of a Georgian, of a Somalian and a Sudanese. Some has comfort, some barely has enough to eat or a government; but everyone has a story of their own.

I too have a story of my own. I was typical of many Chinese in Malaysia in the past. I used to condemn the corrupted government who exploited racial sentiments for power. Through its five decades reign, there were little voices of opposition. People were silenced through the Internal Security Act, Sedition Act and Official Secret Act which threatens to send those voicing out to Kem Kamunting³. Media freedom was oppressed by another 38 laws. Without check and balance, inequality and abuse of power infiltrated police forces, business sector, education, health care, even, the Federal Courts of Malaysia. A former ruling party leader called us “squatters” of the country despite being natives for generations. Many abandoned the country because they felt that the country has abandoned them.

“A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” Now, I have awakened to the enormity and possibilities of the world. Having acquired a larger understanding of the world, my mind and heart opened up and liberated. I learned to appreciate what I took for granted and I took a new view on problems I once thought was be all and end all. I also learned to challenge status quo.

Malaysia, the country that had sheltered my grandfather who escaped from China from being sent to the war with Japan and protected my grandmother who escaped the hands of Japanese soldiers in Thailand. Here, they met, started a business and a family, making me possible today. I grew up watching Chinese fiction “WuXia” dramas because I was from a Chinese medium primary school. I gradually accepted Islamic Nasyid group, Arabic dramas and watched Bollywood couples dance having studied in a Malay medium national high school. Then, I watched pop music on Channel V while studying in an English medium college. I was invited to the traditional weddings of Malay, Chinese and Indians, to their “Open house” when festivities were celebrated with authentic savory delicacies. I prayed in Taoist ceremonies, attended church’s worships, paid homage to the Sanghas, wore tudung in mosque and watched possession of a Hindu god. Immersing in the wonders, colors and beauty of cultures were the most captivating experience I had.

To the metropolis where World’s tallest twin tower resides, to a picnic by the cooling waterfalls in the oldest rainforest in the world where aboriginals still stay by, to the crystal clear emerald beaches of golden sand or just sitting by the misty highland overlooking greenery and landscapes, was all but a drive away. A stroll in the Ramadhan Bazaar got me a meal of dinner for free, its people are wonderful. Anytime of the day, I could relax and enjoy a drink outdoor with my friends in “Mamak” available by the roads, in T-Shirt, jeans and flowery flip flops, while cheap food of assorted culture choice is served. I have little worries of natural disaster. Why haven’t I realized that? I live in a tropical paradise!

If I was a flower, my country would be the garden that has nurtured me with its soil and water; Thus, I shall bloom forth, making it a more beautiful place. I accepted that like the flowers, I am impermanent. So, why not be the change I want to see in Malaysia? “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” Edmund Burke said. Be not the chess pieces used for ill will, be a chess player of good will. I will be a politician of the change I want to see in Malaysia and I will cease suffering in the world the best I can. I believe I can. Because when I believe, teaching 3600 students about cultural understanding and Peace was possible. And when the 22 of us believe, touching the lives of 25000 students was possible.

As I said that, I smiled, while they applauded for me. I knew who I am and what lies ahead of me.

1. The world: Dasha,Russia; Zeeshan,Pakistan; Anna,Italy; Manami,Japan; Denise,Luana,Brazil; Bang,Vietnam; Federico,Argentina; Feng Ying, Singapore; Leih,Philipines; Eymi,Melissa,Peru; Luis,Claudia,Mexico; Ace, Jia Ping,China; Felipe,Columbia; Ady,Minki,India; Romik,Iran/Armenia; Tamara,Georgia; Vienna,Malaysia.

2. Shahid: Martyr

3. Kem Kamunting: A detention camp similar to Guantanamo Bay