Chapter 2: On Death. Organ Transplant.

This was not the serious and comprehensive post I wanted to write on the topic of death. But watching this video reminds me of some of the things I wanted to say. I might as well do a simple post first.

Just as death would grip us by the leg one day, there is no escape; never will there be an escape.

That was a truth that I have accepted long ago.

I remember contemplating about death while staring at a corpse being post-mortem (while at a hospital attachment in Hospital Kuala Lumpur), fully displaying the man's flesh, brain, lungs, intestines, skin infected with corpse-worm/maggots; I thought I would end up like that one day too.

Knowing that, when I picked up an organ donation form, I ticked off all the check boxes on my organs (heart, kidneys, eyes, liver, lungs, pancreas, intestine, and thymus) and tissues (including bones, tendons (both referred to as musculoskeletal grafts), cornea, skin, heart valves, and veins). They should go for organ transplantation when I die -- ashes back with the sea. I told my parents that its too simple of a choice - a choice between:

a) letting the maggots have the last bite and eat up every piece of my body, or

b) giving away my organs or tissues that I don't need any longer, as a "gift of life" for one (or two or more) person.

1.4 Food for Thought: What is normalcy? What does it mean to be human? Nature vs Nurture.

Read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genie_(feral_child)

1.3 Inspiring Story: The Fruit from China story :)

Context: A friend of mine from China who I have stayed in contact with until today called me recently to get my house address to deliver some special fruit from China to me :)

I knew that his family background was not as privileged as I am - being born to a pair of peasant parents in a farming village, owning little more a land close to the size of a room. What I admire about him though is for his knowledge about China's current social, history, political, and economical situation. He was a very well read person despite being robbed off the chance to graduate from primary school.
There are so many things here that I wish you would pick up subtlely without having me to reiterate the "moral of the story".

(He also serve as my link to understanding China and "Communism"¹ from an insider point of view :) Hahaha :D the marvel of friends from around the world - my little spies - that deepen my understanding far beyond the fear-stricken, panic-stricken, little substance news.)

I disregarded the need for the present because I have already received the more important present - his sincerity :)


Note:
1. Communism in China = Totalitarianism, not communism as laid out by Karl Marx.

1.2 Interlude: What is International Relations?

For your knowledge (especially those who seek answers from me), in theory:

International relations (IR) (occasionally referred to as international studies (IS))^[1] is the study of relationships between countries, including the roles of states, inter-governmental organizations (IGOs), international nongovernmental organizations (INGOs), non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and multinational corporations (MNCs). It is both an academic and public policy field, and can be either positive or normative as it both seeks to analyze as well as formulate the foreign policy of particular states. It is often considered a branch of political science (especially after 1988 UNESCO nomenclature), but an important sector of academia prefer to treat it as an interdisciplinary field of study.
Apart from political science, IR draws upon such diverse fields as economics, history, international law, philosophy, geography, social work, sociology, anthropology, psychology, women's studies/gender studies, and cultural studies / culturology. It involves a diverse range of issues including but not limited to: globalization, state sovereignty, ecological sustainability, nuclear proliferation, nationalism, economic development, global finance, terrorism, organized crime, human security, foreign interventionism and human rights.




In practice,
one of my mini assignment (this was one of the easiest and most interesting assignment out of the weekly 20 pages research or papers - you probably don't want to read my 10 pages thesis/paper) was to respond to an article from economist.com using multiple IR theories, lens, and paradigms. The choice of article was completely up to us. Being me, I naturally chose to answer the most pressing issues in a creative way. (Just sharing a realisation, where there is a higher risk/bigger hurdle, there is a higher fulfillment whether you succeed or not. Definitely not the most logical and safe step to take if we get down to statistics :) But You will be rewarded for attempting the unconventional - who can solve the North Korea problem/threat? - and taking risks of holding the bull by its horn. Other than that, I also attempted to "solve world issue" than to comment about it from the realist, liberalist, constructive, etc lens - as many of my classmates did; to me, papers like that are the standard but unconstructive and worth little. Apprehending that my professor wants us to respond, not comment on the article, I got a green light to take a step further. In the end, this assignment got me some praise from the professor and a full 10 out of 10 points.) So here's sharing some IR for your enlightenment, and to quench your curiosity.
*But I'm passing a lil note from my professor here: Grammatical mistake abound ;)*

Coping with North Korea

How do you solve a problem like Korea?

Only by persuading China that it’s in its own interest to rein in the Kims

Nov 25th 2010 | from the print edition

1.1 Interlude: Valuable reads

Less of politically motivated, dumbed down news, or justin bieber lady gaga, more of:

1) Wikipedia.org: The Free Encyclopedia
Or better yet: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (A Wikipedia run by academic experts. The encyclopedia is written and edited by academia from Stanford University and elsewhere; scholarly, more reliable and citable than Wikipedia :) Anyone can alter Wikipedia, but 120 leading philosophers & experts from around the world oversees contributions here. Text can only be published after being peer reviewed and approved several times. Read here for more differences. I secretly wish that you would check out Quantum Mechanics, eschew International Relations' Political Realism theory or at least think about Bioethics.


2) Ted.com: Ideas Worth Spreading

3) Malaysiakini: News And Views That Matter (Malaysia)
Also see: Malaysiakini TV

4) LoyarBurok.com: This is LoyarBurok. Where Your Purpose In Life Meets Ours. The ONLY Community Blawg that cares. Your inbox will never be the same again. (Here, getting caught by ISA is the IN thing, will get you some pat in the back, and some cheering in the background)

Might as well join them live at: UndiMsia

5) Economist.com: World News, Politics, Economics, Business & Finance 
 

6) AhYap.com: Better Than Reading Newspaper (Malaysia)  

7) Pbs.org: Be More. Public Broadcasting Service


Also see: PBS Frontline: World - Stories from a small planet
                PBS Frontline: Thought Provoking Documentary Films 


8) Stevepavlina.com: Personal Development for Smart People

Especially see: How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes
                         10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

9) Newscientist.com: Daily Science News

10) Propublica.org: Journalism In The Public Interest (Investigative Journalism/2011 Pulitzer Prize in National Reporting)

10) Sign up for Malaysia Forum Kopitiam mailing list (where overseas Malaysian students meet & have intellectual exchange/discussion on issues - sometimes not so intellectual ;) still better than our domestic forums - but even better for the local students' mind)

Selamat Datang!

 Also see Forum (Domestic Version): Forum Lowyat: Malaysia's Largest Online Community
Caveat for forum lowyat: I am critical about this one. Sure, it makes you more savvy, critical, business-minded but stay on your toes for the pervasive mediocre, lackluster herd mentality since its a user generated (very rarely users pop out from their typical domestic bubble of existence) forum for the masses after all. But, at least it gains some merits, in my eyes, to break free from your typical friend-friend only bubble of existence.

11) Unscientific Malaysia: Promoting Science, Scepticism & Free-Thought in Malaysia


Just sharing some of my reads - which I think are valuable - so we don't live in denial or ignorance :)
Share with me some of your valuable reads too, enlighten me!

Chapter 1: A New Beginning.

On July 9th, 2011, I wrote a blog post about a new beginning as to the direction of this blog.

From today onwards, this shall be a blog that will help others and me - to grow in wisdom and compassion. It is with wisdom and compassion that we will all enjoy a more blissful, more happy, or more joyful life.

I have grown past the stage where I need a blog for self satisfaction or self gratification. (My self satisfaction comes naturally from myself - not anything from you - from my ability to give and help)

There's absolutely no need to say "You inspired me" or "I salute you" to me (I don't expect or want anything at anytime). In fact, please do not waste time in all that praise and words. Truth is, they benefit you and me little (if any. Ie: If it makes you feel good that you've supported the cause through uttering some words.). Also, this is purely so that you have the right understanding of what is more important here.

Think through this: by saying that "you salute me", understand what you are implying here. You probably subconsciously implied that you think that: a) I may be more capable than you, therefore you are incapable of any similar actions, b) you would not take actions - even when others are doing it - and even if it is actions for what you think is right. That is some wrong understanding and wrong effort, that will not benefit you or others.

In this similar journey of life *we all walk on the same road*, in the end of the day, I am human, you are human, you die, I die, one day :) We all same-same. Me no have Superman powers.

So lets be comrades in becoming the best person that we can be, and lets not compare if 'I am less capable and you are more capable..I have longer hair and you have shorter hair et cetera.' Such are too minuscule and changeable conditions [emphasis added].

Perhaps, I may have some fortunate life circumstances (that is another reason I am sharing with you how I found my way to those experiences; if you think it will benefit you, reap it, Carpe Diem :D) I believe every healthy human being are capable of little "extra-out-of-the-typical-selfish-action-in-society" effort. I have not found anyone healthy who is incapable of such actions yet, can you suggest someone?

Now the right understanding of what is important here: The most practical, rewarding, and beneficial action you could do for mainly yourself (or me) is to start acting upon (anything you find inspiring in any individuals). After that, start sharing with me real stories of how you have treated others with wisdom, compassion, or other virtues.

Msg me with stories: Vienna Looi (FB) :) (I will so gladly share it here for the benefit of everyone)

Upcoming posts:

Inspiring Story 1: A Malaysian from Cambodia who have attempted to send me a Charity Gift Card after reading my wall post on FB.

Chapter 2: On Happiness.


Chapter 3: On the Self. What is "me"? Is there a true "me"?
Chapter 4: On Death.
(Not necessarily in this order but definitely on these topics)




Now, I need to work more efficiently and find time to convey my thoughts.

Older posts, I'm archiving.

Impermanent and ever-changing, everything seems.

A new direction for the benefit of others and me.

Apprehending the meaning beyond the surface.

The way is not in the finger, but the direction where the finger is pointing.

I was just reading up some comments on a buddhist wedding song sung by two dear friends. I thought it was very beautiful. I especially valued how they sung "we shall always be the best of pal in harmony."

Brushing all kinship biasness aside, I was appalled by the debates - in the comments section - sparked by the simple fact that they were facing the buddha with their backs. How minuscule?

A person who adheres rules and customs in religious books without questioning and understanding the meaning behind these rules is akin to a cow that must be constantly pulled and herded; the cow, without its string, is a lost cow.

Lets see beyond established rules to apprehend the meaning already, shall we?

And I bet few could understand this.

[Disclaimer: These are all typed out in one go, right after I watched the video, to capture my own train of thoughts; rather, they are trains of thoughts. They are intended to be original, and unedited. I have not reread it after typing it out. If grammar, instead of apprehension of the main ideas, is your cup of tea, I highly do not recommend you reading this or trying to make sense out of it. (Similar disclaimer applies for highly linear thinker)]
Now, that I've warned you, here goes.

I just had a thought.

I think few people in the world are capable of understanding me.
You see, I'm one who would have the following train of thoughts while watching a youtube video like this..



*1st layer of thought* I would think of the archetypes behind MTVs in west - think Sexyback, this, and everything else (promoting a chase of endless lust and passions and all things glittery and glamorous [*2nd layer of thoughts* linking the behaviors of some American youths (drinking to get drunk, hooking ups, gossiping, partying, making ups) with the influence of these music videos.. teaching us the model of cool and 'trend'y behaviours... so we can adjust our behavior to it according... like how girls model the beautiful standards they have to reach everyday from the models in the magazines...)

comparing it to the Asians archetype (a girl or guy who keeps crying 10 years after their breakups, never letting go of their loved ones - even if death do them apart - think 'Tong Hua';

alternatively acting cute and innocent in Taiwanese Music Videos; I grew up with 10,000 videos like these [*3rd layer of thoughts* which can be explained using the Asian's staying loyal *4th layer: thinking of my Ancestral worship practices* and chastity culture] ). For example,
which meant something like..

Own it Once More

I miss the winter from last year

At that snowy night

Your gentle, tightly held hands

Has warmed me throughout winter

I lost the things I once owned

After you left

You took my laughter and left behind loneliness

I have forgotten what happiness is

The nights without you are especially dark

I can only close my eyes to feel

Those nights without me, who is without you

And replaced our past

Can I hear you say “love me” once more?

And return to the time I was still in your arms?

Can I own this one more time,

This gentleness that once belonged to me

comparing it to the Islamic Nasheed music video I saw like Raihan while I was in Malaysia (which is all about modesty and minimalistic - using only duff (a small drum) and their voices unlike all the fancy props MTVs have) to the values that their youths model against (I'm speaking of some of the true pious, gentle Islamic youths that I've encountered) which explains the modesty of covering up wearing Hijab/tudung....



*back to 2nd layer of thought on American youths getting drunk, hooking up, partying* I would also think of why and what's the purpose of constructing all these fake realities....
Britney Spears is really not Britney Spears - definitely not the one we see or know. The Britney Spears we see is a face that was drawn out through at least 3 layers of makeups... 20 types of products all over the eyes and face to body shimmers... A real woman don't look like that. (We don't have drunken, lustful eyes, opened mouth moving in slow mooootion looking for constant sex)
*3rd layer of thoughts* why these lies, surreality, and constructed reality?
maybe it is driven by a desire to break free from reality... to escape from reality...
maybe, actually, people are not happy?
*4th layer of thoughts* but why are we trying to escape from reality? why aren't people happy?
maybe the Industrial Revolution [*5th layer of thoughts* which makes the advertisements necessary to sell off all the excess products, in turn, makes ourselves labor more to buy more things we don't need, to support the gigantic structure they call Economy] is all quite a lie that we're improving; instead of suffering. we're sold that we're happy if we have this and that.

and to be happy we have to first do things that we're not happy doing (work to earn money), what logic?

we were lied to with a constitutions that states that we're guaranteed peace, and freedom as an individual.
but peace comes through a mutual threats or fear of the armory, tanks, nuclear weapons that we have.
we have freedom? yes *sarcasm* when we can barely choose how to not dread college and work (for happiness *which is a lie* because happiness comes only with contentment, not material. you'll not be happy if you work more, for a flat today, townhouse next year, bungalow or a BMW upgrade or more expensive make ups and skincare to attract love)
really, are we free?

we were trapped in our own little constructed reality and economy
while on the other end of the world... people are suffering from civil wars fighting for access to diamonds * think Blood Diamond * or rare earth metals like Neodymium in yours and my cell phones and computers and tvs [*6th layer of thoughts* again used to lie to us that we need more neodymium] millions are dying through these civil wars.....or suffering to labor for 0.5 cents a day pay to plant coffees, that will be jack up 2000% its price when it arrives at our supermarket. then we also have to labor 9 to 5. 9 hours a day. 1 hour of to and from work. 8 hours of sleep, 3 hours to travel & eat our meals, an hour to bath, WE'RE LEFT WITH 2 HOURS for ourselves (that's what we have for our FREEDOM *7th layer of thoughts* great way to control people to not be able to realize certain truth, kept in our own little constructed ignorance existence and keep going back to their 9 to 5) to buy that 2000% priced coffee to make ourselves happy, cause we were told by our tvs that we need them since young (we probably wouldn't know of the existence of coffee, without it. So it goes back to supporting our whole structure of Economy to buy ourselves happiness)
http://pcworld.co.nz/pcworld/pcw.nsf/news/common-gadgets-may-be-affected-by-shortage-of-rare-earths

we were told that we are happy, and we're free...
but in the end we have 2 hours a day to do what we want, we are unhappy, they, on the other end of the world, are unhappy or dying... and we all want to break free...



so these are my train of thoughts from just watching one video.

[*unknown layer of thoughts* at this point, i lost track of how many thoughts I had along the way of watching a 3:56 minute of video. I think our mind are magnificent and too fast to be caught on by words. This is what i thought of in 3:56 minute. sometimes i wish i could document more of my thoughts. but the way my thoughts go, is like this unbounded spider web, i can probably go on thinking forever. answering all my own whys.]

Really, Can anyone follow me?

hmmmmmnn.




hopefully.

Documentaries I deem worth watching.

I forgo tv since a really long time ago.
But here are some documentaries I've watched which will provide some insights to my current view of the world - a world of advertisements, consumerism, development (on a side of the world), and poverty (on the other side).
These can be life changing documentaries. (It will at least make you think of certain issues in a different way) Ready for a challenge? haha :P
(Actually, I just want you to watch it! hahaha. yes, I've succeeded in being silly again. Actually, I'm just trying to be funny, please laugh! )

Metta - Loving Kindness

Old self, new self, no self?

Reading up my old blog cheered me up :)

(I blame my brother for bringing this up, but I thank him for reminding me of this old side of me.)

Haha. I used to....

While studying Physics, memorize all the Newtonian laws construct a whole bunch of my own laws.. like:

Hypothesis: The more you study, the less life you get.

Methods of Proving:

1) Hold a mirror

2) Look at yourself and convince yourself that those things on your table makes you happy sulk

Conclusion: The more you study, the less life you get.

(I think I still dislike forced learning education just as much even though my siblings deeply believe that I'm a nerd and a bookworm.)

Do funky posts like a step-by-step manual on:

*HOW TO TURN YOUR KIDS INTO FOOTBALL JUNKIES IN THE FUTURE*

Receive & collect testimonials such as these:

when there's Vienna around.. who needs a Tv?
- PeiLi -

see u keep eating only... and u have Mr Bean's personality in you. hahahaha funny!
- Janice -




vienna friggin eats alot! and i mean ALOT! took 3 full plates of lok lok and nasi lemak. o.o kim tot she couldn't finish them all and bet with her 10bucks for that. in the end she ran away w/o paying vienna. xD
- Junjie -

I'll miss laughing at u! I mean it in a really good way =)
I mean.. Vienna.. u can never find anyone like you..
Thank god! And Im really happy to have friends like you..


Vienna
- Happy-go-lucky
- Never-gets-upset
-2-weeks-before-exam-last-minute-study-and-still-can-score [Vienna, *hint hint*- study!!]
- Cheerful, bubbly, loud, whacky person
- Also the 'tai ka jie' in the family

And Vienna has managed to make me laugh again (come on, this Vitagen girl always makes me laugh...)
- Yi wen -


Ur really funny! (Laughs) U should like have ur own talk show! (thinks..) The Vienna Show!
I will be your first-ever Manager!
- Alexis -

Pei Li & Camen amazingly wants to be my manager too (on three separate occasions; they must be testifying for something!)

Better start beaming light to the show! Bet u'll earn a lot! - Katy -

hahaha I haven't met anyone,anything like you.. eccentric yet funny.

- Ruff -

Loud laugher xD
- camen -

Hmm, gosh I missed my 'even if the sky falls down on me, I can hold it up with my little finger' attitude. Wait, I think I still am - in a more subtle way. For better or worse?

Oh, whacky, bubbly, funny, and stupid Vienna. :D

How times have changed?

Mozart - Sonata KV 448 for 2 Pianos & Piano Concerto No. 21 in C major

Brings back those fond memories, feelings, and thoughts I used to have while wondering around piano competitions and concerts.

A thought just came across my mind while I was reading;
Mommy, you're the most selfless person I knew.

Service, devotion, and sacrifice.
What an inner real gem. Yet, the most beautiful things are often the most easily dismissed.

I'm questioning and reflecting upon too many things.
I even question upon my reflections if these are to my own good - if these are ideals which should be forsaken.

Malaysia's Constitution.